i just wish i had a fuckbuddy in my area
Trailer for “Jenny’s Last Stand” Debut EP “Houston Are You There?”
Its been two years now and I gotta hand it to myself, the fact that ive still been able to miss you after all this time is somewhat impressive on a depressive obsessive note in itself.
Missing the way my life was and how I felt during that time period i desperately tried to recreate that feeling. So i examined what I was doing. Partying, going to shows, excessive alcohol use, smoking, thinking I was hot shit. So i Kept trying to recreate all those things, still longing for that certain feeling of incomparable joy.
Much to my dismay I couldn’t get that feeling back. No matter how hard I tried. Then I forgot to take in one important factor about all those single moments in time in which I felt that warmth of love and happiness, there was one thing that i Did not take into account.
I began to look back at all the moments that defined that time, and they all had one thing in common, You. It wasnt the popularity, the parties, or anything else that brought that to me, it was being next to you. A genuine girl, who genuinly cared for me, and that I genuianly passed it off as a fling that will tide me over to the next one. I was wrong completely.
Maybe thats apart of growing up, kind of realizing “yea, you blew it.” Hurting and learning go together all to well. And now i sit in a corner I painted myself into, in which not 100 girls, or 1000 parties, or the satisfaction of having everyone know you, could lift me out of. It was the simplest thing at all, your heart that cared for mine. And now I sit flaring up on a tumblr page, in which no one will prolly read, and what I will prolly forget about and pass it off as a bad emotional night. Put it in some song, and pass it off as a meloncholy love song at practice.
But this room is bored of rehearsal, and Im sick of these boundries, and I miss you so much.
bad anxiety for the past few days. sucks
life just gets really lonely sometimes. Truly miss companionship and having someone you deeply affectionately care about.